Amateur Poet Can’t Hang with the Prose


This is Denis Skelly, and on the morning of August seventh, 2020, he broke down… and we’re not just talking sentences by syllables.


Skelly, despite holding multiple doctorate degrees in creative writing is still considered an amateur in his field. It is clear Skelly can’t hang with the prose.


During one of Skelly’s typical long bouts between his typewriter and his mind, a few tenured colleagues approached his corner of the library. “How’s that third stanza coming along, old sport,” asked a Bubblegum Clearwater, English department chair and Ronald Regan doppelganger.


“Been better days, been worse days, but I’m sure it’ll come to me any moment,” replied Skelly.


“Is that right, old sport?” It is common for intellectuals in the field of English to pretend they’re in the Great Gatsby when picking on their colleagues.


“We noticed you’ve had a tab open for the better part of the afternoon, can’t be going that well.” Chimed in Scurvy Scuttlebum, who flanked Bubblegum Clearwater.


A tense ten seconds later, Skelly had toppled his desk and launched himself at his colleagues. While the fight lacked any point winning blows, there were enough scratch marks to warrant the filing of a complaint on behalf of two men named Bubblegum and Scurvy.

An amateur move.

Dude can’t hang with the prose.

By: Joe McNaney



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