“I haven’t felt the earth betwixt me toes so, how could the 4 seasons me knows!” commented Vivaldi in a recent interview with E! News.

Antonio Vivaldi, an Italian composer perhaps most well known for his series of violin concertos, The Four Seasons released a new masterpiece on the morning of March the 20th signifying the classical music icon may have had a drastic change in opinion.

“There’s Only One Season as I’ve Been Inside for the Past 5 Days, GODDAMNIT!” is the title of the new Vivaldi. Stepping away from his most well-known instruments if you listen closely to Vivaldi’s new track you can hear chainsaws that seem to be auto-tuned, chalkboard scratching whose audio seems to have been taken directly from an obscure YouTube video, and of course, cowbell.

It seems some of the beauty and nuance of the shifting seasons may have been lost on this old artist after just 5 days of isolation.

-A Well-Mannered Scholar