Play Dough’s Argument Lacks Much Substance

This past Monday, July the twenty-seventh, Emily McSmartypants Jr., the daughter of well-known Harvard philosophy professor, Emily McSmarypants Sr., was alone in her playroom with nothing but a ball of Play Dough and a thirst for knowledge.


Taking part in her favorite playroom pastime, “Philosophize with the inanimate object,” McSmartypants Jr. was taken aback when she imagined hearing the pile of gloop claim that “knowledge isn’t possible.”


A knee jerk reaction came from McSmartypants Jr.’s as she disputed the nonsentient play thing’s imaginary idea by proclaiming ” Sure it is! Knowledge must be real and it must be connected to something real!”


Blatantly ignoring the ever-present irony that McSmartypants Jr.’s was making both sides of the argument thus rendering any agreed-upon understanding of the concept of knowledge useless, she continued.


“Play Dough, you’re dumb!”

“How could one be dumb if dumb is an adjective used to describe someone’s knowledge… which does not exist?”


From the other room, McSmartypants Sr. heard an escalating conflict. “What’s going on in there?” When the bickering continued McSmartypants Sr. made her way into the playroom only¬† to see her daughter telling a pile of Play Dough to “do die in a cave.”


McSmartypants Sr. had an enormous grin and told her daughter she had what it took to be a true philosopher.


By: Joe McNaney



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