Early Sunday morning the University of Chicago’s mathematics department chair and undeniable pompous asshole, Doctor Christiansen Ph.D. (he asked us to write his name that way) was spotted shouting “I am the Mockingjay. I bleed mathematics. Numbers is me!”

This declaration came after the completion of a Zoom class. Doctor Christiansen Ph.D. (again, just following orders) had forgotten to turn off his webcam. Becca Glover, a third-year in the Zoom class was the first on the to report the story when she threw a series of posts out into the Twittersphere, that when combined read;

“I come back from the bathroom and Christiansen, who left his Zoom on was just nodding confidently in front of his equation covered whiteboard shouting “Oh I like me I like me It’s likely I like me! Whose favor are the odds in? I volunteer as tribute. I am the Mockingjay. I bleed mathematics. Numbers is me!”

— BECCA’S COMBINED TWEETS

Doctor Christiansen Ph.D., (last time we have to write his name) the probability theorist, probably has an inflated ego.

-A Well-Mannered Scholar