REPORT 'Do Not Touch Artwork' Sign Blatantly Ignored

REPORT: ‘Do Not Touch Artwork’ Sign Blatantly Ignored

CHICAGO, IL-

The Art Institute of Chicago announced its, for the moment, temporary closure from March 14th to the 27th. The public has been made aware the reason for the Art Institute’s closure was the pandemic COVID-19 that has now caused J.B. Pritzker, Illinois governor to shut down all restaurants and bars. With all this in mind, one must ask themselves, “who was the numbskull tourist who ignored the blatant ‘Do Not Touch Artwork’ sign and got American Gothic sick?

REPORT 'Do Not Touch Artwork' Sign Blatantly Ignored

It was Martin Gorgle.

Yeah, you know, Martin Gorgle, the guy who doesn’t buy into all this global pandemic mumbo jumbo. Yeah, you know Martin. Martin Gorgle uses social media as if everyone was waiting to stop their lives to see in what way Martin decided to be counter-cultural today. Matin “kinda gets the anti-vaxxer’s POV”. Martin whished the less privileged would understand that having privilege is, in a way a hardship. We all know Martin Gorgle and he’s going to continue to infect priceless works of art at the dispense of the masses because he doesn’t give a flying fuck.

Don’t be a Gorgle.

-A Well-Mannered Scholar

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